content to be alone

warm feathery silence

keeping me warm

as I drift

in and out

in and out

heavy eyelids tether me

coils of sleep weigh down my limbs

burrow deeper

into sleep and fuzzy blankets

slowly

sunshine creeps like a dazzling shadow

reminding me

vague responsibilities

not too close

not far enough

move softly

around the room

open windows

tidy the desk overflowing with last night’s madness and candy wrappers

hours feel irrelevant

fluttering by like tattered curtains

yellow

gingham

curtains

clatter of fingers on keys

pausing

losing myself in a daydream

for an hour

or two

what is time

pausing

just to sit

in the quiet

absorb the peace that rolls over me like a foggy blanket

safe in a shell

a cocoon

insulated by distance and noiseless passing of time

purple pillows

texture against my fingertips

swish

back and forth

back and forth

water and plastic wrappers

random collections and piles

crackers and cookies and popcorn and chocolate and chips

water is warm and comforting

eat and type

but mostly eat

boredom is a friend for the first time in my life

we dance together around the room, avoiding the parts of the floor that squeak

a million colored sticky notes

flutter from the sky

reminders

pretty

bright

reminders

people far away, they care

letters I know I should write but the quiet calls to me

just sit

the fuzzy blanket follows me

pastel flowers

gently embracing me

stacks of books climbing higher trying to reach the ceiling or out the window to say hello

to the trees

where leaves

wet

falling and leaving the branches bare and cold

inside it’s warm

wrinkled bedsheets in plaid

remembering home

where is home

now

papers in stacks

chaos I made so I clean as I clutter and the piles grow higher

spreading about the room

covering the floor

patchwork quilt of homework and half-finished novels

artwork and assignments and sheet music dance restlessly with me

and the flower blanket

where does the darkness come from

one minute there is only sun

and the next brings night

thicker, denser quiet

it hurts more but it is still better

I am content

to be

alone

 

 

 

1 thought on “content to be alone”

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