home is

home is

where you fit

even if you don’t like it

you don’t try to

they don’t get it

but

you can’t stop

being part of them

and that’s good

home is

feeling safe

maybe too safe

sometimes

knowing that leaving is hard because hiding is easier

and you have to step out

you have to go back

face the world

you are a big girl now

and you can take it

someone believes in you

there is always a place where you can come crashing down and they will try to fix your broken parts before you launch again

home is

dinner

and it’s loud

really loud

silence is not a thing here

and even though you love the quiet, it is good

this noise

it is comfort

and annoying

so you smile

because you missed it

you just forgot

home is

questions

they are hard to answer

because you are different

and they are different

you don’t want to accept that

but it’s true

some things are hard to put into words and maybe it’s nice to have a few secrets
to feel like your other life is a wild adventure so rebellious and free they would disapprove

maybe they would

keep that part

and tell them the stupid stuff

home is

and home always will be

2 thoughts on “home is”

  1. “face the world/ you are a big girl now” – ughh yes. But knowing home is always there and it’s full of the same supportive (i.e. parents) and crazy (i.e. siblings xP) people you’ve spent your life with, that gives strength, I think. Even if, as you say, there’s also this simultaneous feeling of disconnect, which I’ve somehow stumbled into just by getting a part-time job and being on the internet more than the rest of them. It’s kind of sad – we used to speak the same language (a highly complex system of references and in-jokes…) and now I miss half of that?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s