i’m never the one

you don’t need me

but I need you and that scares me

because what if you leave

and take part of me with you

you never need saving

but I always do and that scares me

because i’m not strong on my own

and I want to be

you never feel like you’re drowning but sometimes I do

and you’re always there

and I hate that

or maybe I don’t hate it…

maybe

just maybe

there’s a tiny part of me that loves how quickly you come running when I text you stupid things like “i’m feeling sad”

maybe

just maybe

it’s nice to let go and let someone else be strong for once in my life

but you never need fixing

and aren’t relationships supposed to go both ways

I should be giving as much as i’m taking

and we both know that’s not what’s happening at all

not even close

you never need rescuing

why am I always the broken one, the hurting one, the helpless one, the one who’s so lost she can’t even see the light anymore, why am I the only piece of the puzzle that doesn’t fit?

i’m never the one helping or saving or fixing

and I hate that